i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
