You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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