no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
