I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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