I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
