I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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