remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
