I'm so fucking centered right now
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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