Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
