when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
