I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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