Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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