uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
