I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
