What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
