And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize