I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
