I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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