escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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