We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
The power of my boobs compel you
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize