I'm gonna have a badass scar
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize