just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
