That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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