I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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