Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
