You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
