I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
