ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
