And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Randomize
