Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
