fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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