oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
