Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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