We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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