all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
