oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
