Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
