I accidentally had phone sex last night
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
