do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
