Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
