So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
