Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize