maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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