My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
smell my finger.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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