I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
