I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
