just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize