Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
