I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
