Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
third nipple confirmed
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
