he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
