I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
