Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
