apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i think i have two assholes
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
