I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
