it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Sorry about my life...
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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