I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
