He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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