her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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