How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize