Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize