David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
