; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
